Welcome back to 100 Dates in Houston, a dating blog series chronicling my journey to go on 100 dates in Houston, Texas to find the love of my life. If you’re new here, start with my intro post, explaining the details of this challenge. Today, I share my final date of 2024 and a bit of advice for the ladies on how to make your dating life sweeter. Enjoy!

Date #35 came through my bestie, Loriel. After attending her 40th birthday party, she called me with tea to spill. One of her guests, an associate of her husband, had been admiring me at the party. He was a youngin’ — a mere thirty-one years old — but well-established and financially stable. He hadn’t asked for an introduction but made it known he was into me. 

A few weeks later, the same gentleman would be hosting a housewarming to celebrate the purchase of his new home.  Always ready to position me for love, Loriel invited me to join her.  

“We met at a housewarming” sounds like a fanciful way to start a love story.  I accepted the invitation, curious about who I might encounter. 

When I arrived at the housewarming, Loriel greeted me outside, followed by the host. The Youngin’ welcomed me into his home and quickly asked me for my choice of wine. He seemed a bit nervous as he greeted me.  It was cute – endearing even. Despite having a house full of guests sprawling across two floors, he disappeared to search for a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.  Ten minutes later, he found me and poured a glass. 

“Your home is beautiful. You’ll have to give me the full tour sometime.” I flirted. 

“Oh, we can definitely make that happen,” The Youngin’ flirted back.

As he returned to hosting the rest of his guests, I enjoyed the food and festivities. The Youngin’ was American with Nigerian roots. His housewarming was a cultural event, complete with global cuisine, afro beats, and close family vibes. 

The evening wound down and Loriel and I departed together. I found The Youngin’ and thanked him for his hospitality.  As we walked outside, Loriel suddenly took an interest in a rock on the sidewalk – anything to give her an excuse to hang back just enough so The Youngin’ and I would have time to chat alone. Wasting no time, he asked me for my number, opened my car door, and said goodbye.  

As I drove Loriel home, we laughed.  She hadn’t intended for The Youngin’ and I to connect at the housewarming.  Instead, she figured an older friend or relative may have been more my speed.  She’d heard stories about him through her husband – stories of him sowing his wild oats in the streets of Houston. What had I gotten myself into? 😬

At that point, it didn’t matter. He was handsome and financially secure, with a full hairline. 

In the words of my Gen Alpha goddaughter, “Let’s do it for the plot!” I would have to find out for myself. 🤷🏾‍♀️

In the days leading up to our date, The Youngin’ came correct. He reached out consistently and told me he was intentionally dating.  I distinctly remember one question of his that stood out to me. 

“Take me through your day.”

It was only a subtle shift from the typical “how was your day,” but something about this question felt more curious and attentive.  He listened to my answers with curiosity. Although he was only thirty-one, The Youngin’ had better conversational skills than men ten years his senior.  

North Italia 

After a few days of texting, we set up date #35.  He proposed a dinner at North Italia, an Italian restaurant in the Galleria area. Although chain restaurants aren’t typically my bag, I‘d never been and read good reviews, so I happily accepted his invitation. 

Our conversation over dinner was simple and easy.  Although my date seemed a bit introverted – almost shy even – I found him easy to talk to. In fact, it was so easy that at the end of dinner, I felt prompted to extend the evening.

The night was young, and I felt cute – too cute to go home so early.  I was with an attractive man on a warm summer night. Why not let the lover girl in me come out to play? I followed my feelings in the moment.  

Lead like a Lady

“Do you feel like dessert?”  

“I could go for that,” The Youngin’ answered.

Society says men are supposed to be the leaders in relationships, while women are passive passenger princesses.  But I’ll always encourage a woman to lead with what she wants. Make suggestions. Ask for what feels right. Have audacity even! Your dating experiences will feel so much more fulfilling. 

That night, I wanted to be out enjoying the city—and that’s exactly what I did. 

Rooftop Vibes

Unsure of where to find the best dessert, The Youngin’ and I chose a location that would give us options – POST Houston. It would be my first time back since date #7 with Mr. Hairline over a year before.  

After my date covered my valet, we jumped into his Audi truck and drove off to POST. He was a friend of a friend – I assumed he wouldn’t kidnap me. 🥴

After arriving at POST, we settled on ice cream cones from Flower and Cream. Then we made our way up to the rooftop Skylawn.  

This was a different experience from the family-friendly vibes during my daytime trip to POST with Mr. Hairline. It was nighttime, and the Houston skyline sparkled in the distance. A live band and DJ crafted our playlist for the evening. And there was a popup bar serving cocktails. I flirted with my date, teasing him about the rumors of him sowing his wild oats in Houston. The lover girl in me enjoyed all the feels.

At the end of the evening, The Youngin’ dropped me back off to my car and checked to make sure I arrived home safely. He mentioned that he wanted to see me again.  

The Follow up

In the following days, The Youngin’ and I bantered via text and had one or two phone calls.  He proposed a second date on the following Sunday. 

And then the tide turned…

Two days before our tentative date, The Youngin’ hadn’t communicated any concrete plans. Something in the tone of his messages had shifted.  When I asked for clarity on our plans, suddenly, he fell silent. 

Sunday came and went – no word from him. 

 And I refused to send a follow-up text. Silence is sound in my world. I had no idea what had gone wrong, but I would have to chalk this one up to the game — after all, he was thirty-one.

But that’s not where this story ends! 

Rising from the dead. 

A week later, The Youngin’ transitioned from ghost to zombie – apparently this is the Gen Z term for dates who circle back and rise from the dead after ghosting. 

“Hey there. How are you?” he started as if all was well. 😒 “Sorry for the inconsistent communication. I just got back from Missouri. I had to travel for one of my customers.”

“Hey boo” I replied, trying to be unbothered. “I’m doing well – just running some errands. Yeah, I noticed you disappeared. That kind of communication won’t work for me.”

The Youngin’ explained that his communication wouldn’t be the best during the coming weeks because he’d been called for an unexpected work trip and would be on the road for a while. 

“So it’s probably best to keep things light and friendly because I won’t be able to meet communication expectations,” he warned me.

It all felt like smoke and mirrors.  I began my girl math calculations. 

He was called to travel for work on Saturday but left my texts unanswered on Friday.  I hadn’t set any communication expectations beyond not blowing off our plans. Something was off. 

But this man owed me nothing. While the real reason for his shift was murky, it was crystal clear that we were unaligned for anything beyond “light and friendly.

Confused and a tiny bit deflated, I responded, “I’m cool with light and friendly.” 

That was my last time speaking with The Youngin’.

The Real Reason 

We don’t always receive clarity on why people do what they do.  For an overthinker like me, this can be one of the most difficult parts of the dating journey. I didn’t allocate much brain space trying to figure out the real reason for the Youngin’s sudden shift, but I would be lying if I said it didn’t bother me.  Even if he was just a fun minor character in the plot of my love life, it felt icky to be sidelined — seemingly without reason. 

But as it sometimes does, clarity came when I least expected it. Months later, while chatting with Loriel about the best time to share this blog with a new man – date #37 –she revealed a secret she’d been carrying.   

She had run into The Youngin’ at an event with her husband and asked about what had really happened. He revealed that he’d learned about my blog and wanted no part of it.  

And that was completely ok. He could have told me upfront – I would have understood.  But again—he was thirty-one. Could I really expect mature and honest communication? 🤷🏾‍♀️

It had been fun to explore a wider age gap. While I was open to the possibility, I certainly had no expectation that this connection would be my happily ever after.  I’d lost nothing and gained a fun experience. 

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And so, my friends, that concludes my dating journey for 2024! Check back soon to see where this dating train leads me next. Spoiler alert – our next stop — MAGA-Land!

What did you think about The Youngin’? Would you have considered a nine-year age gap? Did you believe the first excuse he gave? Let’s hear it in the comments!